Violently sick

Returned from Sweden a few days ago. I had a really great time, and when I packed my stuff and was ready to go, I actually barfed on my host's rug. Yeah, so much for being grateful for their hospitality. Instead of heartbreaking hugs or at least a handshake, all I got was a shy hand wave from the distance. :c

Because of a strange cough I've been having lately, I went to the doc only to be diagnosed with bronchitis. Yay for the best winter holidays ever. But I've got some happy pills and inhalation therapy and should be fine in about a week.

But prior to that, the trip to Sweden was absolutely awesome and I even got a shitload of coffee and chocolate, although my godfather secretly ate the best ones :c Also I tried the best dark beer that Scandinavia has to offer. It was... *drumroll* Staropramen! .__.

Mi na jugu smo bolji alkoholičari :DDD

Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more.

That's a pretty Freudian look you've got there, Scandinavia... Compensating  for something, perhaps?

Traveling to the land of winter and blondies tomorrow. Hope the plane doesn't crash. I'll report back if I don't get killed by a sniper that's been shooting immigrants and tourists a few years ago -.-

But that's just dad's optimistic side of the story. In my fucked up fluffy world, I'm headed towards a land full of social services, discounts, advanced technology and... well... blondes.

Survival techniques:
- Practically live in bakeries, it's always warm there. :D
- Armed myself with a (hopefully) good book and a music player in order to fight boredom during the flight.
- Have a notebook and a pen at any time.
- Spend money on coffeeandsweetscoffeeandsweetscoffeeandsweets wisely.
- Discover interesting shit on my own. Fuck godfather, he's not a tourist guide.

I'll still buy coffee and sweets that we are lacking here and bring it for the folks at home.

Now I must go, my planet needs me x)

Lep ti nokat :D

The cake was alive
I just got back from Novi Sad. The day was really long, but really epic. I enjoyed every (almost) moment of it, except from the ride to the city by a stranger where we thought we were gonna be raped and murdered. o.O But more on that later.

First, the morning began with me waking up and feeling an probably looking like a zombie. After somehow managing to pull myself together, I went to the bus station. I went with a friend (we'll just call her Vrapčica), and her TAtiTzAxXx derpy mica dad drove us there. The moment we left the car, a rather indie taxi driver jumped upon us and persuaded us way too easily to go with him. He offered us a bit cheaper ride than the bus. He called this lady, another customer of his, and we were ready to go. She's your typical woman who dresses and acts like a slutty bimbo, but at least she was nice and didn't speak more than necessary.

For starters, the strange guy looked rather... strange, and the thought that he was taking this woman too made me feel a bit more at ease, but most of the trip I thought how we should open the door and jump out the moment he slows down a bit xD But the atmosphere got a bit better after the bimbo tried to text a message to someone.

Jezivi vozač: E, možeš da pošalješ poruku za mene?
Kurwa (zatečeno): Ovaj... molim?
Jezivi vozač: Pa da pošalješ poruku kolegi? Ja ne mogu, vozim.
Kurwa: Ovaj... a zašto?
J. V.: Pa vozim, nemam slobodne ruke.
Kurwa: A, evo...
(Vrapčica i ja razmenjujemo ugrožene poglede, ali nivo gluposti u ženi nas istovremeno fascinira.)

Kurwa nekako uspeva da iskuca poruku, međutim onda nam se okreće i pruža telefon)
Kurwa: Izvini, možeš li samo da pošalješ poruku?
Ja: ...?
Kurawa: Ne mogu da pritisnem dugme, kače mi se nokti.
Ja: Oh...
(Nokti su joj bili užasno dugački i fensi i onako zaista kurvinjski. Ali kao i svaki pravi džentlmen, pomažem kurvama u nevolji (???)i pomažem joj da pošalje poruku. Vrapčica gleda i bori se da ne prasne u smeh. Majku mu, kako je uspela da iskuca poruku, a ne može da klikne jedno dugme da je pošalje?!)

The journey continues, and there's a cloud of silence above us all the time. The driver remembered that he was supposed to fill his tank before, and with a lot of swearing turns around 180° and makes some dangerous maneuvers in order to return to a gas station. Thankfully, after that we had no more problems or random conversations with the long-nailed woman. We actually made it to the Novi Sad station alive and un-raped (god I love this word :Đ). Turns out our host is still asleep/just woke up and can't manage to pick us up. He says he'll be there as fast as he can. And again, we're immediately jumped by another independent taxi driver
- Treba vožnja do Beograda, jeftino je, samo 300 dinara.
- Ne TreBa, TeK sm0 STiglI. SxTA Si NAwAli0?! (nkz0!)
I'm not able to socialize properly before having my morning coffee/at least 9 hours of sleep.

Vrapčica and I begin wandering the bus station and do the first thing that comes natural - go to the little shops that sell snacks, drinks, sandwiches and some baked goods. We don't actually buy anything, but see an ad poster (cheap coffee to go!) We go there in an instant.

Turns out we're in a very retro restaurant by the name of Casablanca. We settle down for some coffee and wait for our friend to pick us up. But he didn't show up for quite a while, so we were just sitting there and were fascinated by pretty much everything like idiots.

- Kako je retrooooo <3
- Daaaa... Čak je i konobarica retro! Pogledaj kako je žena milf!

- I nekako mi je u nekom Jugoslavija fazonu...
- Da, tako je... retro... o.o Skontaj ove zastave...
- TiT0 yE ZXiW u nAsxEm sRtZu <3

- o__O

And so on x3 There was even an ancient... thingy that holds sugar. It's... not possible to describe with words how strange that thing was. The first thing I did with it was to weaponize it. Beside that, there was a tiny, little, old tv that was later showing Slagalica. How badass is that? x)

And finally, our host decided to show up. We gave him a warm welcome.
- E, konačno sam vas našao i...
- ImA dA tE tuCxEm!
Yeah, the coffee didn't kick in yet. But after having a sugar overdose, Vrapčica started laughing at literally everything. Our host (let's call him Gospodin Poenta) was talking about us volunteering at the Exit music festival next summer, living at the camp there, and of course going to the stages during the concerts.

- Moj tata može da nam obezbedi neke veze pa da radimo tamo, prodajemo narukvice...
- AAAA, narukviceeee... ahaha, ja ovde umirem

- Ali nisam rekao ništa...
- Ahahahaha jesi ni ne znaš :ĐĐĐĐĐĐ
- Uglavnom! Moj tata...
- O božeeeee tatahahahaha

- o___O
- Izvinite, pukla sam :Đ

Yeah, she really did. After pulling herself together, Vrapčica allowed g0sp0diNu p0EnTi to continue the conversation. He actually finished talking about Exit and we drank our coffee and began exploring the wonders of Novi Sad. Yeah...

The wonders: first thing he did was dragging us to a park full of pigeons. We actually wanted to stay there, but nooooo, we had to go to a spot full of dead vegetation and loud children. But that wasn't so bad, just meh. After that, we visited the museum of modern art - didn't like it either, but they did have some quite nice war machines. Seeing an old, decaying cannon in the middle of a street is kinda impressive.

After being psychically broken, we started searching for shelter, and found it at... McDonald's. Yeah. There we had lunch. Most of the food was average, but the chicken salad was pure deliciousness. Never thought I'd eat and enjoy salads at McDonald's o.O Anyway, after recovering strength, we began wandering the town aimlessly. So yeah, we visited an... ethno fair... thing. A bunch of villagers from our lovely country offering some home-made honey, soups, sweets, spirits and even carpentry. But we were just taking a look, the things were way too expensive.

After that we visited a church or two, but not to pray or anything, but to admire the art. Yeah, something every normal teenager does :D We went to pretty much every church except the Orthodox one. Even the Jewish Synagog.

- Jao, ko je ova riba?
- Ne znam, ali baš je milf :D
- Pa valjda devica Marija.
- Ili možda Marija Magdalena.
- Pa to ti je isto.
- E pA nIyE!
- Nije bitno, bitno je da je bila s0t0njara! Gle kako je sva u crnom!
*random old women saying their prayers look at us carefully*

I don't remember the rest exactly, but I know we went to a bazaar/mall place and pretty much went up and down the escalators like idiots. The only mall in our town was closed before many years, and we couldn't really ride the escalators when we were kids. neiživljene fantazije :Đ
There we went to a game store and browsed games. I want a PS3 :c Vrapčica had her fangirl moments and gleed over Dragon age CDs.
- Nemaju ovaj najnoviji DLC :c
- Pa zato je to i DLC...
- Stvarno? :0

Later, g0sp0dIn p0EntA had to go and take a camera. He always has at least 5 useless hobbies at the time. Currently, he's an aspiring:
- Film director
- Composer
- English teacher
- Six words story writer
- Poet

As you may guess, I do not approve. Anyways, he dragged us to an abandoned building and told us random trivia about it (There was a bench here. It's gone now.) Vrapčica and I were sitting on some cold stairs because the bench was stolen, and waiting for our host to take the goddamn camera. Then, a hipster girl showed up and it turned out she is another young aspiring film director too.

She managed to fuck her camera up and they had to go and find another or whatever. Our host directed Vrapčica and me to a restaurant, promising us cheesecake. We entered, and were stunned. It was waaaaay to classy for us. We are two starving students, and the people inside were way to rich for us. There were old, stylish ladies that were wearing mink, gentlemen in suits and so on. We looked like hobos compared to them.

We ran out in an instant. We made our way back to the Bazaar without having to ask anyone for directions, especially not twice :Đ
There we settled for some nice coffee (they have filtered coffee, which surprised me a bit) and cheesecake! ^^ It was delicious, food of the gods, ambrosia.

Gospodin Poenta later called us and asked where we are. After giving him directions, he showed up after a long long time. We hanged out there, and later he dragged us to Frida, a café named after Frida Kahlo. I'm not sure if it's an official café, much like our Rupa. But Rupa is better :Đ (and cheaper for sure)
Anyone who's at least a bit familiar with Frida Kahlo's art knows that she was obsessed with autoportraits. The fact that she had a massive unibrow is not helping at all. Well, there was a room filled with her autoportraits. Luckily, we didn't settle there.

After being in Frida (that's what she said?), we had sandwiches for dinner.
- Možete da kupite dva mala ili jedan veliki pa da ga delite.
- ...
Gotta love double entendres!

After everything, we went to the Yugoslavia retro restaurant, settled for a last coffee while waiting for our bus home. I think this journey can end only with a quote from the greatest piece of literature in the history of humanity:
Kada smo se vratili napokon u Enrot Zrenjanin jedan sveštenik nam je otvorio teleport i mi smo se vratili nazad u naš Enrot Zrenjanin.

Moj je život Džibilend :P

Happy birthday to... me...

Oh god... This pic... GPO...SE? Anyway, I can't describe how much it reminds me of a certain someone. I've got nothing against people... who spend their birthdays alone, but this specimen deserves a special mention. How can a person be such a hypocrite so socially incompetent and twist all of his nice words in a big, nasty insult in order to praise someone. And then he's the victim. Victim my ass. Siroti mali socijalno smotani dečak :C
Some people just need a hug. Around the neck. With a piece of rope.

''Srećan rođendan! Kiki i Tamara ti poručuju da iskopaš oči lopatom!'' - the Toady Nerdy One :D
Oh well, his sis and I tried to take the morally higher road and be diplomatic. Alas, it didn't go so well.
I (acctually, we) offered him a branch of peace (!?) and he crushed it. With a laser. Made of his eyes. - Vrapčica :D

Beside that not much has been going on. A rather morbid girl from my class (who has a passionate love for poisonous gas) and me have been planning to flood the world with toxic gas (plin... not sure how to translate that more accurately). Yeah... I'm not much into that idea, but she loves it. Should she somehow manage to take the lower ground somehow (I know physics don't work that way), I'll just move to the rooftops and be a modern day Zoroaster-like prophet. I shall train birds to bring me berries, crumbles and similar things to eat x) Yay for the lack of sanity!

Other than that, I've had waaaaaay too many conversations with people about Serbia being a shitty state recently. I mean yes, we're in a horrible situation in all kind of aspects, and we're used to it. But man, the subject's been practically haunting me lately. It's because we're on our senior year of high school, and everybody's discussing college, moving out of their parent's house and plans for future. That's where the problem is - there is pretty much no future in Serbia.

- Vidim ja da od škole nema ništa... (sedimo nas troje u kafiću za vreme škole, naravno)
- Šta da ti kažem, jedino da se udaš za nekog mafijaša...
- Uf, ti su nezgodni. Suviše je nežna ona za takve :P
- JA nežna?

- Nađeš nekog FINOG mafijaša ;) Skockanog, doteranog, u odelu.
- Misliš političara?

- Pa naravno...
- Ah, džentlmeni večnih osmeha, dugih prstiju i dubokih džepova.


- Sad sam se skenjala... Najbolje je tako kao naš šareni, fabulozni, cvetak da idem da budem model x)
- Da se slikaš sa vozovima :D
- Čuj ti ovog! Sa vozovima! Si grozan... :D
- Nađe neki napušteni vagončić i opa!
- I bude Ana Karenjina ;D

- Ko je sad grozan? x)

And so on... The conversation with the two classmates which skipped school with me was hilarious, and the day was very enjoyable. It might not sound like that right now, but an event that you actually are part of, and something you read on a blog are two completely different worlds. But it always makes me smile when I remember how we were laughing like idiots. Well in the end we actually came up with several ways she can ensure financial safety in the future. Don't try any of them at home.

Travel became an aspect of my life again, thank god! I'm going on Saturday to Novi Sad in order to visit my nerdy friend. Another nKz is tagging along, so we'll probably be having a good time. That may not be an epic journey, but at least I'll be on the move for a bit. I love our Zrenjanin, I sure do, but I've been here for far too long.
But that's not all. Something messed up the universe and my godfather decided to buy me a plane ticket to Sweden. I'll be visiting for the winter holidays. I'll actually take full advantage of the holiday sales, and maybe manage to squeeze a present from my godfather. The bastard has been away for the last eighteen years of my life, it's time to make up for that >:3
kUmcXEtu YE p0trEBan n0wi Lapt0p DA igRA Bi0sx0ck i dRAg0n AgE nA zgrADi SA 0sTAlim NkzMA. I za studije, kao...
$ir0ti mali b0gata$x :Đ

The Surface

Standing on the edge of greatness

My rooftop obsession is starting to kick in again. I've been searching all kinds of sites for rooftop pictures, videos and even poetry and descriptions. I just miss going up there. Wish it was summer again. Gosh, I even miss the glowing-hot aluminum burning our hands while the noonday sun is glowing above us in the middle of August.
Since the cold weather started I wasn't able to climb up and hang out with my friends there. Although I know a few persons crazy enough to accompany me up there, and I can't wait to see them again, so we can do stuff together again x)

As a kid I loved climbing trees and stuff with my friends. Now, as young adults, we still go and climb rooftops instead. There's nothing more beautiful than stargazing the whole night with your pals, and seeing the beauty of the rising sun at dawn while on the roofs.

Then we would climb down and buy some fresh, still warm bread when the bakeries open at 6 am. Then we either have coffee or crash dead tired at someone's place.

That was a comment from deviantart where I... hmm... sam zaskočio spopao some poor artist.

And this is something from my novel, Serbian only. The handsome artist main character briefly escapes from reality by ascending to the rooftops.

           Videvši da lift uopšte ni ne namerava da dođe, momak je pogledao niz gelender ka podrumu, pitajući se vredi li da silazi osam spratova i rizikuje da ga babetine udave. Zaključio je da svakako nema šanse da stigne na vreme i odlučio je da kad već kasni, makar će da uživa u šetnji do škole.
            Uputio se gore, ka krovu. Penjući se uz stepenište, razmišljao je već o slobodi koja ga čeka na krovovima. Uživao je da se mota tamo, iako je znao da ne bi baš smeo da ide tako često. Ali koga još ima tamo ujutru? Ljudi retko zalaze gore, i to samo kada popravljaju antenu.
            Prošao je pored komšije koji se nalazio tačno iznad njegovog stana, i naježio se. Tu je živeo neki čudak koji nikad nije izlazio, i umetnik ga je video samo jednom u životu. Čuo bi svaki put kako udari o vrata čim neko prođe tuda. Imao je utisak da usamljenik neprekidno viri kroz špijunku. Mladić je ovog puta pogledao i jasno video kako senka koja prikriva maleni otvor nestaje, i kako se posmatrač sakriva. Student se stresao i ubrzao korak, preskočivši par stepenika u žurbi.
            Našao se na poslednjem spratu, na kraju hodnika. Stojao je pred lotrama koje su vodile ka krovu. Ponovo se nagnuo niz gelender da izvidi da se neko možda ne penje. Kad se uverio da su dole i dalje samo četiri starije žene koje svakako ne nameravaju da se uskoro pomere, uhvatio se za drške i krenuo korak po korak da se penje.
            Da bi čovek izašao, morao bi prvo da se provuče kroz prozorče koje je uvek stojalo otvoreno na njihovoj zgradi. Osobe u debelim jaknama, ili neko ko bi nosio mnogo stvari sa sobom bi se već namučio da se provuče, ali mladiću to nakon ko zna koliko puta to već nije bio problem. Skinuo je ranac sa ramena i prvo njega bacio kroz maleni prozor, zatim je i sam počeo da se provlači.
            Čim je izašao kroz prozorče, podigao je pogled, ali ništa se nije moglo videti sem beskrajnog mraka. Dok je još bio na sve četiri, uzeo je svoj ranac i ustao. Stojao je daleko od ivice, kojoj bi se inače retko približavao. Jeste da je bilo ograde koja bi dopirala do struka, ali umetniku je i dalje bilo neprijatno da se previše približava.
            Izvadio je telefon i njime osvetlio put ispred sebe. Tu je uvek bio mrkli mrak, nije bilo ikakvih izvora svetlosti kao dole. Već je znao gde je šta napamet, ali nije želeo da se spotakne o neki kabl ili bačenu televizijsku antenu. Vešto je zaobilazio neverovatne količine krša. Osim kablova i antena tu je bilo mnogo zarđalog lima, konzervi sa skorelim katranom, pocepanih vreća sa šljunkom koji se prosuo, a u maleni otvori za ventilaciju bili su prepuni kutija od cigareta, pikavaca i raznog drugog smeća.
            Znao je da nije jedini koji kroči po krovovima, ali nikad nije sretao druge. Jednom je video grupicu silueta kako trče po susednom bloku zgrada, a ni njih ne bi primetio da ih nije odao majušni, crveni sjaj cigareta koje gore. Međutim nisu ga nikad opazili, ali zaključio je da je tako bolje.

I jelly

Well, that's enough me talking about petty little desires, time to waste hours watching puppy videos do something productive.

Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

Emily Dickinson

There's a muffin dog under your bed

The Way Maker and the Grieving One
Click for a better resolution!

Been working on FFE lately. The pic above is my first attempt at pixel art that isn't an animated sprite. It's the first one with some details, but it's still rather simplistic. The dog was rather easy to draw, but I had some problems with the girl. It can be seen to, I messed up her navel and skirt and... well I just don't like how she came out. Done in Flash and later in Paint.

I've been doing some concept sketches that can't really make it into the game.

A werewolf and a girl clinging onto a vine for their dear life. They do slide down to safety eventually, somehow./Alternate version

These are some of my "drippy style" drawings. I fucked one up the first one gloriously, while the other isn't messed up at all, but looks kinda empty and plain.
Sweet, sweet nightmare fuel. Drip drip :D
Messy drawing. / Slightly cleaner version

A young woman with perhaps some Spanish/Latina/Cuban blood. I did something to her chin that I can't quite figure out and it's kinda irking me, but on the other hand I don't want to change it. Laziness. I think that the chin/mouth gives her the discrete, tropical gene.

And I did this in the days of heavy Dwarf Fortress obsession. They don't look like dwarves at all, they're just humans with beards. I did it while really tired, but couldn't sleep. It was 3 am, and I had to get up at 7 am for school. I think the girl with the wheat in the lower right corner is the only thing that redeems the whole thing. But I like the psycho with the axe too :D Hell, I love 'em all! x) Iako su NkZe, moje su nKzE.

Laugh until we think we’ll die, barefoot on a summer night

This little bone so the little heart keeps beating
This little bone so my little hand keeps greeting 

Oh hai! I've been having troubling nightmares lately (yesterday) with some nasty, creepy poems. Do not want. But maybe I can use it for my novel. Hmm...

But that's not important. /Mariya Semyonova, bitches!

Home is wherever I'm with you

Real post starts now.
What matters is that yesterday was a really epic day. It was so epic that I went to sleep pretty early from all the exhaustion. We kidnapped borrowed a friend of ours for a day. He lived here, but moved later to a bigger city to go to a math-oriented high school (I know, right...). His parents are batshit insane just a little bit crazy, and don't want to let him grow up. NEVER. EVER. So they didn't let him go to a dorm, but decided to sell their house and follow him instead. After a series of bad tactical and financial moves, they're there for a year and a half, and neither of them has found a new job in the city. His dad still drives all the way back to our humble town to work every day.

They forbade him to come back here. NEVER. EVER. But he made his little breakthrough by taking a cheap taxi here and back. After a long while, our little group gathered. We're just missing our priest-to-be of questionable sanity that's currently in a boarding school in Montenegro.

So, our math nerd decides to become a rebellious bastard and runs away from home, even for a day. That is something that nobody would expect of him. He's mama's nerdy, obedient boy.  Well not anymore! There were four of us and we had an really awesome time. Ate real food (and not the stuff of questionable content they make him in the city) , played cards, listened for nyan cat 'til we went insane and had some really good coffee. We had a really enjoyable, carefree day. After quite a while, I felt completely at ease without the aid of liquor.

After that, we somehow managed to find him a taxi back home. There were a few complications, but a random gramps showed up out of nowhere and offered him a ride home. It was very suspicious, but a girl from our little group knows the old timer well, so we were on the safe side.

He went home safely, his parents never suspected a thing, and he was un-raped(I actually added this to my browser's dictionary)fine. I'm just so glad that he finally decided to try and take over his destiny and life, and not just accept whatever life throws at him.

“I’ve been thinking. When life gives you lemons? Don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought is could give me lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s going to burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

And with this little gem I'm closing this post.


A beautiful demise
Went to a friend's place and we watched this really beautiful movie. We were sitting by the heater and watched White Oleander on her laptop while sipping some awful wine. It was sour, while the movie was kinda bittersweet.

This friend of mine, she's the artistic type and studies graphical design, and she said that the movie's artsy and different. Thank lord, it wasn't just the hipster type of "different". It's really a beautiful work of art. The environment and characters are all carefully designed and full of beauty. I've never seen a movie that shares my taste for... well everything with me.

While often violent and dark, the movie stays full of dignity and the characters show their beauty even in their tragic fate. I especially liked the female lead. Alison Lohman did a fantastic job portraying her character. She was fragile and gentle, but still deceiving and dangerous, much like the titular flower. She always literally transforms to fit in her current situation. She's kinda the type of woman I try to portrait my female characters like in my works, but with much more inner strength.

A few times prostitution is mentioned in the movie, and I apologized to my friend again for calling her a 90¢ whore a quite some time ago, even it was just a joke.

Her romantic interest is a long haired foster guy, which I also found surprising. The two are perfect partners in crime. He's a bit derp, and her eyebrows change colour in every fucking single scene, but they're still very believable and unique characters. Her mom is a very powerful character, even in the movie. But she's batshit insane, like all mothers are.

In the terms of game development, I've made a few more characters animations that were kinda difficult for me to do, but I don't think there's a way to use them. That's what I get when inspirations strikes at 3 am.

Tickling my nausea o.O

I can has zombie apocalypse? :3 Or a regular one at least? :c
I wanted to go to the book... fair... or book con? I don't know how we say that. A place with a lot of books, big crowds and lots of discounts! :D It's taking place in Belgrade this week. There were a few opportunities for me to go, but none of them could work out. Maybe I'll ask my dad to arrange something with his illegal mafia buddies o_O They travel to Belgrade daily because they have... business to do. Yeah... Very obscure, I know.

On a lighter (?) note I skipped school again. My school life is a never-ending game of hide and seek. Not that I'm complaining. I guess that leads to my uRbAN cXiLd reawakening again, and suppressing my hippie self. I want to travel, with a bus, somewhere far. Like Pripyat </3 But all things aside, I just want to spend a day traveling, anywhere. I don't know what got into me...

Also, I've started writing again! We had a bible study class and I got the idea of God and Metatron being fucked up and h8ers towards humanity. 0r n0t? We're analysing Goethe's Faust, which might have inspired my sanity slippage. The novel has been on a hiatus for... about half a year. It's rather dark (I mean it has puppies drowning in cement), but this is a whole new level of cynicism in my "works".

Must. stop. listening. to. creepy. shit.


You have a very nice lemon.
I want it... I need it... I can't have it.. D:

2 am edit time!
Even though I didn't get any sangria, I went out with a friend and we had this.
The second round was this.
And the main topic of the evening was this.
The motto of my life.

There were some really weird converzations. After getting drunk enough, we started playing make-believe, using the glasses to imitate a prostitute and a john.
John: Lady... You have a very nice... LEMON!
Beside that, she was really curvy and had dem hips. People call her the fluorescent whore.
I should really get some sleep.

Happy pills

While being healthy for quite a while, but had to finish taking all of my medication anyway. OH DEAR GOD WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF?

Daring escape

Press X or C to start your daring escape :3
Skipped school yesterday, went to the rooftops with my friend again, so nothing unusual is happening. And yeah, I recovered from my illness, at least partially.

We went to a different rooftop this time and it was a nice one. Yeah, they're all the same, but the surroundings are different. This building is practically surrounded by trees and some have grown so tall that they make a neat shade at the four story rooftops. We just hanged out in the shade, talked, drank some wine and ate snacks. That is, until we were attacked by bees o.O We tried to hit them with our notebooks, but utterly failed. But in the end, we managed to kill one and stun and chase away two! \m/ But the killer bees eventually won and we had to move to another rooftop.

After a while we had to go home and started to climb down. My friend went first, and I was supposed to give her our school bags after she descends. But she got caught by an old lady. She tried to smooth talk her way out, but it didn't work. Then she just casually walked away, ignoring the old woman. xD

I was forced to make an ninja escape to the next building, evading bees and a couple who tried to fix their TV antenna. Somehow they didn't notice me and I managed to make my way down with two schoolbags full of heavy crap on my back. Never thought I'll manage to fit through the tiny window and climb down the ladder with the two bags. I have no idea how it went unnoticed.

So yeah, my life is pretty much becoming Prison School break o__O

By the way, it is October now, so the guys at GMC will probably post new updates and I'm really looking forward to see what they've been doing this month.


I caught a cold or something. Had to stay at home and miss school today. Not that I'm complaining! Had lots of time to spend on reading books, and I'm glad that I had been able to rest and recuperate. I'm taking some antibiotics and hopefully I'll be healthy and kicking in no time.


Do want!
Today I skipped school. It's just the 19th of September, I don't wanna start too early :D I went to my grandma's (granny's crib o__O) and offered to help with the garden. Grandma is really old and her movement is kinda... limited, and grandpa is just plain lazy. So she took me to the garden in the backyard and I harvested a shitload of spinach that grows there. The things were everywhere.

I realized how much I love plants and gardens. When I was little I always loved playing in auntie's vineyard and used to water plants and take care of the weeds. A few days before I had a little sanity slippage and said to a friend "Hey, we should totally make a big garden on the rooftops" and she was like "Are you fucking nuts? Nothing can grow there!" Guess my inner hippie child is coming to life. o.O

I guess my whole life is just a paradox. I'm living a typical "urban" life in a city, go to school, practically LIVE on coffee, always on the rush. Yet I want to live at the county, have a house and a big garden. I hope my crazy idea about spreading plants and life from the roofs of city buildings will hold ground, at least for now.

And in mah garden I will have a weeping willow at a pond, and a field of wildflowers around, so I can drown like Ophelia :DDD


Me drunk. Will edit later when sober. Derp.
Some of the things came back. We were drinking on a rooftop (it has a fence, we can't fall down, don't worry) and it was a night of... comedic sociopathy o_O I remember airplanes that tried to bomb us, a lack of this little precious tool and some reaaaaaly weird conversations, but unfortunately I can recall just a few.

Well, yeah x3 But everything's still very fuzzy.

Good night, sweet prince

Sweets to the sweet: farewell!
There is a willow grows aslant a brook
That shows his hoar leaves in the glassy stream.
There with fantastic garlands did she come
Of crowflowers, nettles, daisies, and long purples,
That liberal shepherds give a grosser name,
But our cold maids do “dead men’s fingers” call them.
There, on the pendant boughs her coronet weeds
Clambering to hang, an envious sliver broke,
When down her weedy trophies and herself
Fell in the weeping brook. Her clothes spread wide,
And mermaid-like a while they bore her up,
Which time she chanted snatches of old lauds
As one incapable of her own distress,
Or like a creature native and indued
Unto that element. But long it could not be
Till that her garments, heavy with their drink,
Pulled the poor wretch from her melodious lay
To muddy death.

Guess who just finished Hamlet? It was an quite interesting read, despite of having to read it for class. The only interesting read from my literature class beside Dante Alighieri's Inferno.

The motif of revenge is an interesting one, and the (almost?) incestuous love between queen Gertrude and king Claudius is really squick. Hamlet, man, I feel your pain. I would snap too if my uncle was banging my mom. Oh my god the mental pictures noooooo Wait... I don't even have an uncle...
Anyway, the characters were ok, beside queen Gertrude, she was kinda way too passive. She got way to little... screentime. But her death announce/poem about Ophelia's drowning is my favourite part of the drama. The rest she babbles things like "hamlet, mah boi, y u no be sane? </3" Also she just randomly drinks poisoned wine, which is kinda lame.

Hamlet per se was kinda meh in the beginning, but later becomes a badass that is playing insanity and throws stealthy insults at everyone. But he's still a derp.

Ophelia was my favorite character, but again I have a thing for pretty girls with flowery garlands that hum songs of madness. I'm also a sucker for "broken bird" characters, and her descent into insanity was incredibly beautiful. Even her brother says that she makes horror and despair into beauty and life, or something like that. Her demise was a really tragic one.

And then they all died. THE END.

P.S. Mr. William must have been on some REALLY nasty drugs when writing the whole pirate taxi England-Denmark thing o_O

I will open one of my six mouths and sing the song that ends the Earth

Elixir of life

Oh hai. So, school's started and I'm having five hours of sleep maximum, and that's a jackpot. I would look like a zombie if it weren't for this beauty. I would open one of my six mouths and sing the song that ends the Earth.
Nevermind that. ^^'
If you ever need your faith in humanity restored, just google "coffee art" and see the images. Makes you think that we're beautiful, unique snowflakes that are destined to create beauty and art.

Blue grass grows all around

Clickie! :3

I'm actually making this a dev blog. I've been working on the random grass generator (how pathetic is that?) and it looks pretty decent now. But the blocky grass generator actually had some uses - now it creates ground tiles. I'm happy with completing the floor "engine". Now it can work for both outdoor and indoor environments.

Beside that, I finished the walking and moving around engine for the player and made a basic one (that will be completely changed later) for the AI. With that and the object depth issues resolved, I decided to make a basic room and see how things work out. And they did fine. The player can't go through objects, and can stand in frond and behind them, giving a 2.5D feeling. I'm pleased for now.

So here is a screenshot of the makeshift room I programed. I didn't realize how many of the sprites were red or brown o_O But at least they kinda blend well together. Also, I wasn't expecting to have enough sprites done to make a relatively decent room. It's still a bit empty, but it works for now.

What I intend to fix:
- The fireplace. Stronger colours, and of course add a cozy fire ^^
- That damn shadow... The lighting makes no sense! It doesn't actually even exist.
- The table... It's just... lame.
- Some of the proportions, the bookshelf for example. Also that golden statue should have been a horse, but every animal I draw ends up like a dog D:
-  The only thing you can interact with is the puppy. You'll be able to examine and interact with more stuff.
- The dog's legs... they're... wrong...

Nuff about Game Maker for now.

Unicorns are real! ^^

Click me. I'm too big for this cruel world :(

Oh my, something that is actually what this blog was made for! I'll post some of the progress I made. Not much, but a start.

So, here we see the player character wandering in a trippy forest. Yeah, I know it's all purple and gay, but it also has unicorns with wings that fart rainbows and shit diamonds and are totally awesome. Chuck Norris has eight.
Okay, I'm fine now. Let's start over.

Here we have a random forest. I was crazy enough to make a random forest generator, so it will always randomize so the player can never feel sure and never truly know the way. I want the player, as well the character, to feel lost and helpless. So I made a grass and floor generate at random, but in pairs. There won't be grass growing out of a stone ground, and if it's snowy there will be cold, blue colored plants and so on. But the position and looks of the grass wary, as do the location and looks of the trees. What was changed after the screenshot is that the grass isn't limited by the 32x32 grind anymore, but is more free to grow wherever it wants to.

The only thing I'm worried about is framerate. The trees love killing it. They release many particles that are okay when there are about 10 trees, but more can be a problem. I will hopefully resolve the issue by making use of the deactivate_all and activate_all command line, but I'm still learning the gml, so I'm experimenting. Another one could be that forests don't release particles, only lone trees.

Here's a random terrace I created too, and my particles are present, of course. The damn things are everywhere.

In my fluffy world even the trees shit sparkles.
The alternate "scary" version, made just so I can call it survival horror xD Be afraid, be very afraid...


Back from school, and still kicking. I have a new philosophy teacher and he's... strange. He looks like a shell-shocked war veteran that may never recover o__O He talks very slowly and looks in the distance when he talks and is weird in all possible ways. To be short: we're fucked.

A lot of people have been pestering me with university because it's my senior year now. Soon I'll have to leave home and move to a bigger city and go to college. My dad said that I should go to Vienna somewhere else in Swiss, or somewhere in Sweden. He believes that the countries are in some state of economical and social welfare. Living there is like "winning the lottery of life" No mater how stupid his metaphors may be, he's right.

But living the "American dream" a.k.a. the Serbian nightmare would be so... everything that I haven't been doing my whole life. While living in this hellhole people learn to accept dark fate with dignity and humour, compassion too. There are just dark elements of life that are just... ours. When you see how much the things are messed up here, you are shocked, but after a while you accept it and laugh about it, saying "Heh, this is Serbia".

So, what would one do in such a "perfect" country made of fulfilled dreams and bliss? It's kinda like going to heaven only to find it boring. I'm trowing a tantrum, I'll stop now.

Also, the gmc restarted the upcoming games of September on time! ^^ So I'll probably post some progress art/stuff of FFE.

Silent poetry

Painting is silent poetry.
I survived the return to school. It wasn't much anyway. We didn't have half of the classes. I'm attending a new class now, sociology. It's... meh. The whole school day was just meh, but when I went home things got interesting. ^^

I saw an artist on the street selling oil paintings and graphic sketches. She was your typical starving gipsy artist. But the woman was so kind and patient, I can't describe it. When people (me among them) bugged her with stupid questions, she just explained everything patiently. It was a really pleasant talk.

She explained about the art industry and copyrights, how she has a colleague that paints with oil and the two collaborate and she sells his works while drawing with charcoal. Unfortunately, she's not very good with portraits, and regrets it. But I think she draws landscapes pretty nicely.

I was tempted to buy a painting (or two) because they're actually pretty cheap. But what would I do with it? None of the rooms in my flat are coluourful or pretty enough to house such beautiful paintings. You can't have a classy painting in a flat with a completely different style. I don't even think my parents arranged the rooms with style, just used whatever they had. Of course, from the moment I saw the paintings I drifted of to my little fluffy world where i can daydream of the beautiful house out in the country. But it's just a dream for now.

The horrible truth.

Oh hai?

Fear my horrible handwriting

Today I was cleaning my desk up and went through a bunch of papers, notebooks and stuff. And I found my old English book. I flipped a few pages and found muffin dog. That silly mutt was the only thing that kept me from going insane from boredom at my English class. The material was easy, and my deskmate wasn't a talkative soul and he drew doodles in class too. The difference is that he actually draws really good, but oh well.
So, this little fella was the first concept of the idea of an canine companion that I wanted to introduce in a game, and so I will. So this will be a dev blog for my projects and games. Let's hope they get finished.

I guess that an introduction is a good way to start this blog. So, what can I say, I'm a muffin dog. I love to steal muffins from tables, but unfortunately they're always out of my reach.
Yes, that's a muffin, don't question it's existance o.O Also, I fucked up her face badly :c

Another one from my English book. I actually cleaned this one up a bit and managed to edit the text out. It wasn't easy, that's for sure!

So, the muffin dog befriended a girl that brought him to her home. Here we see her typical morning relaxing and drinking a cup of coffee. The muffin could be her breakfast or a treat for the doggy, but maybe she's just teasing him.

When doodling this in English class I got the idea of the duo that could work in a game. So that's when he became her canine companion and friend. I later decided to name the girl Eleonore and the puppy is still nameless, but I'm working on a game project in GM, so he'll probably get named. Still, I think the player will get the chance to name him whatever he wants.

I feel like telling a children's fairytale about a girl and her puppy. But gosh, this blog makes me wish to draw children's book illustrations... o__O Should not want.
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